When my son was a month or so old, I remember breastfeeding him at a party, and being asked by a friend how long I intended to breastfeed for. “I guess for about nine or ten months,” was my reply, “Because I’m going back to work after a year.” I’d read the current advice, which states exclusive breastfeeding is recommended for the first six months, and that breastfeeding is important for up to a year. I figured that once I was back at work, that was it, and anyway nobody really breastfed beyond a year, or they’d end up with a ravenous boob monster on their hands, who would still be clamouring for the breast at thirty-five. I’d read that breastfeeding once a baby has teeth might rot them (the teeth, not the baby… and anyway, this is a myth) and that once solids were introduced, my son wouldn’t need his breastfeeds anyway.
Of course, once my son started sharing our meals, it became apparent that his need for breastfeeds wasn’t going to slacken much (although it certainly did slacken a bit.) I began to examine my own feelings on the subject, and found that I was quite happy to continue breastfeeding my son, day and night, at home and outside of the home, for as long as he wanted to. As he got older, I was able to leave him all day with no problems, and feed him when I got home. My supply didn’t dry up and he wasn’t a grumpy nightmare to be with while I was away from him. While I was pregnant, I’d heard many horror stories about how painful and difficult breastfeeding is and so I had steeled myself for it to be a complete nightmare, but one that I would soldier through. And I’ll admit that the first two weeks were difficult, exhausting and uncomfortable. But that passed. It quickly became an enjoyable source of comfort and quiet time for myself and my baby, as well as a fantastic feeling for me knowing that I was nourishing him in the best possible way. It’s such a loving a natural thing, and yet breastfeeding is also such a contentious issue, and I really don’t understand why.
There seem to be two key areas where breastfeeding divides opinion.
The first is the length of time a mother and child choose to breastfeed for. In this country, most women breastfeed for a few months. Up to a year is fairly unusual, and beyond age two is usually considered to be very strange. The general health benefits for both mother and child are very well known. But there are also huge benefits to breastfeeding well into toddlerhood, including the continued boost to a child’s immune system. It’s interesting that even the World Health Organisation recommends breastfeeding for at least two years. And yet here in the West, particularly, breastfeeding for this long is considered abnormal. I know I’m not the first person who fails to understand why breastfeeding a two-year-old is considered bizarre, and yet drinking the milk of a four-legged, four-stomached animal throughout life is considered the norm. (OK, well apparently cows don’t have four stomachs, they have one stomach with four compartments, but you get what I mean, innit.) Until the turn of the last century, British babies were routinely breastfed beyond the first year. It was only the introduction of formula milk in the early 1900s that changed this. I was so concerned, when my son showed no signs of reducing his interest in breastfeeds, that I consulted many a parenting forum on the issue. It was my “fault”, I felt. I had made him an addict (a fear that even enters my subconscious.) If I didn’t stop him now, I’d have a battle on my hands in a year or two. And yet plainly, this won’t be the case. I’ve been reassured by the many mothers I’ve made contact with who also “extended breastfeed” their children that at some stage we’ll both be ready to stop, and there’s no need for me to feel pressured to stop any sooner. That the many millions (and billions, I suppose) of mothers who do this outside the West do not have to offer “bitty” to their adult children. And that I am in good company.
The second area where opinion is often divided is on the issue of public breastfeeding. Apparently, Facebook considers pictures of breastfeeding to be obscene. I know that the first few times I breastfed in public, even when my son was tiny, I felt extremely self-conscious – and not because I was “exposing myself” (despite my efforts to be as discreet as possible.) I soon got used to it, and am now very comfortable breastfeeding in restaurants and in the car. Not all women are comfortable doing this, and that’s fine too, but I just don’t understand the extreme anger public breastfeeding inspires in some. Someone directed my attention to this story, about a woman who attempted to breastfeed her child in the changing room of a charity shop. I think what shocks me most, apart from the appalling behaviour of the store manager (assault, in my opinion), is some of the comments below the article. I think I got through two before I had to get up and walk away from the computer. I’m fortunate in that I’ve never, ever been challenged when breastfeeding in public. Perhaps it’s because I’m primed and ready – eager, maybe - to shoot down those fascists who think they have any right to tell me whether or not I am allowed to give my own child sustenance and comfort when he seeks it. I don’t do it very often, now that my son is older, simply because he doesn’t ask for a feed. But I will if I choose to, and I’ll be damned if anyone else is going to tell me otherwise.
So anyway, today, for International Women’s Day, I want to salute those women who breastfeed their babies. It’s a wonderful experience, the best start you can give a child, and it’s natural. And don’t let anyone else tell you otherwise.
Tags: breastfeeding, international women's day, Motherhood
